Loneliness in old age- the unspoken killer
Loneliness accounts for 15% of early deaths among the elderly, which is more than obesity, lack of exercise or smoking 15 a day.
There are two key types of loneliness-
Social loneliness; the fact that they want more social interaction than they currently have or
Emotional loneliness– they miss one special person, usually a spouse, child, or best friend.
For some people, loneliness is constant, for others it is often at weekends or over holiday periods. It is shocking to read that there are more than 2 million people in England over the age of 75 living alone and over one million people can go a whole month without speaking to anyone. Over half the ‘over 75’s’ say that the television is their main source of company.
Due to our increasingly ageing population, and with local budgets for the elderly being under threat of cut or closure, this figure is set to rise. With loneliness significantly contributing to increased cases of mental health and depression, the government is encouraging us to get involved in looking after the more vulnerable in our community through ‘Befriending’ schemes, and involvement in the 24 hour Silver Service telephone line. We can also learn from other cultures, particularly Asian, where it is not uncommon for three generations to live together under one roof, they are horrified at our apparent lack of care and respect for our elders.
For some, loneliness is constant, with one million people going a whole month without speaking to anyone
Even if family or friends are close by, the pace at which we lead our lives, means we have little time for others, so even when we do help, we make the elderly feel a burden on our precious time.
So often, family or friends get the essential jobs done, but do not have time to stop and chat. We must remember that the elderly were young once, and many have led exciting lives so we should encourage them to tell us stories of their past
Companionship is fundamental, like food and water, without which we simply cannot live.
Smile even if you do not feel like it!
Take every chance to smile at others or begin a conversation – for instance, with the cashier at the shop or the person next to you in the GP waiting room.
Smiling is proven to raise your spirits.
Invite friends over
If you are feeling down and alone, it’s tempting to think nobody wants to visit you. But often friends, family and neighbours will appreciate receiving an invitation to come and spend some time with you.
If you would prefer for someone else to host, Contact the Elderly is a charity that holds regular free Sunday afternoon tea parties for people over the age of 75 who live alone.
You will be collected from your home and driven to a volunteer host’s home for the afternoon. Apply online or call Contact the Elderly on 0800 716 543.
Keep in touch by phone
Having a chat with a friend or relative over the phone can be the next best thing to being with them.
Or you can call The Silver Line, a helpline for older people set up by Esther Rantzen, on 0800 4 70 80 90.
You can also call Independent Age on 0800 319 6789, Age UK on 0800 055 6112, or Friends of the Elderly on 0300 332 1110 to receive a weekly or fortnightly friendship call from a volunteer who enjoys talking to older people.
Learn to use your computer
If your friends and family live far away, a good way to stay in touch, especially with grandchildren, is by using a PC or tablet.
You can share emails and photos with family and friends, have free video chats using services such as Skype, FaceTime or Viber, and make new online “friends” or reconnect with old friends on social media sites such as Facebook or Twitter and website forums.
A tablet computer can be especially useful if you are unable to get around easily, as you can sit with it on your knee or close to hand and the screen is clear and bright.
A sponge-tip stylus pen or speech recognition may help if the touchscreen is difficult for arthritic hands or fingers with poor circulation.
Your tablet is also a easy way to catch up on TV via Iplayer, ITV catchup etc
Libraries and community centres often hold training courses for older people to learn basic computer skills – as well as being a good place to meet and spend time with others in their own right.This becomes increasingly important so you can order more tablets at your surgery online, make appointments and even do the weekly shop.
Local branches of Age UK run classes in computing to help older people get to grips with smartphones, tablet computers and email.
Get involved in local community activities
These will vary according to where you live, but the chances are you will have access to a singing or walking group, book clubs, bridge, bingo and quiz nights.
Also local branches of regional and national organisations that hold social events, such as the Women’s Institute, Rotary, Contact the Elderly, and Brendoncare clubs in the south of England.
The Silver Line helpline (0800 470 8090) can let you know what’s going on in your local area.
Help others
Use the knowledge and experience you have gained over a lifetime to give something back to your community.
There are endless volunteering opportunities that relish the qualities and skills of older people, such as patience, experience and calmness.
Volunteering has long been associated with better physical and mental health including lower rates of mortality and less depression.
Examples are Home-Start, Sure Start, helping in a local charity shop or hospital, Citizens Advice, and school reading programmes, or National Trust, the law courts etc.
Find out how to volunteer in your area on the NCVO website.
Another website is do-it.org which lists all the opportunities in your area.
Join a local church
A recent study of 21,000 Americans found that those attending regularly had a longer life span by 7 years! Engaging in spiritual practices raises levels of endorphins and the happiness neurotransmitters serotonin. It has been found that people who pay attention to their spiritual side have lower rates of cardiovascular disease, depression, stress, suicide and even a better immune system!
Sources- NHS.org
The Age Well project- Annabel Streets and Susan Saunders